Change

Change... What makes change so difficult. Sure, some people want to move here or there, some people want a new job, and some people just don't want to deal with the day to day bullshit that occurs in their life.

I, myself, like every other person in the world is dealing with change. I am at a school that I feel is doing nothing for me, many of my friends are gone, my girlfriend no longer lives a block away, and I am ready to start living out my dreams. As much change as I want to happen in my life, I seem to be fighting a lot of it. What are we so scared of?

In 2008 we were supposed to "Believe in change" but at what point are we supposed to believe in it? This may be a political slogan but I try to work it into my day to day life. Props to you Obama, you have done one positive thing for me. Back to change... We all want it, but is it really what we need?

Moving to a beach or a big city seems to be the dreams of half our population. What will we do when we get there? Sure, we have a change of scenery, but is it really what works? To me, far too many people try to escape the small problems of their own lives by making change. Change that will lead you to another problem. I was once told that if you were sitting around a table full of people and everyone laid their problems infront of them, most of the time you will keep the problems you have.

You would think that I am totally against change. However, I believe there is constructive change and dreamers change. Changing a drug abusing lifestyle is a wonderful thing, but wanting to move to a tropical island to change your shitty attitude isnt. I am lost in this blog... it made sense when I started...

I guess I just find it mind boggling how much we fight change on a daily basis, but then how much we hope for it at the end of the day. Listen to your heart the newt time you think about change. Your brain can adapt quickly, but your heart may take a while.

Journey

We all experience hardship throughout our lives, sometimes they happen here and there, other times they decided to bombard us much like the snow in an avalanche... from all angles. 

This year I have been the lucky victim of, what I would like to call, an avalanche in my life. I started this year, and new decade, with a loss of my grandmother. Three weeks late I lost my step father. Most recently, this past sunday my brother and a few of his friends decided to jump off a bridge into a river after a long day of canoeing. Chris, my brothers friend was landed on. He now is laying in the room of a hospital praying, along with friends and family, that he will some day walk again.

When it rains it poors right? Well, in my neck of the woods we are having a hurricane Katrina. The levees are struggling and show signs of breaking. My family and I have far too many questions without any answers. This most frequent asked being, "why us?" Now Chris hasnt had any real effect on my life. Nothing like my grandmother and of course, nothing like my step dad. Chris just happens to be the last few drops of water that initiate the tip with the bucket. I am looking for answers but can come up with nothing. I said to myself this was going to be my decade. My dreams were going to become reality this decade. I cant help but think to myself that these are life tests. Test that make our journey more fulfilling. Some peoples journeys consist of overcoming an abusive relationship, drugs, or mental disabilities. My journey is overcoming death. Am I strong enough to battle through loss and persevere? I believe I am. With the help of others, friends and family, I believe we can overcome anything.

Every person faces some sort of natural disaster in their life. Sometimes its a small rain, other times its a hurricane. However with a support group we are able to recover from these occurrences and rebuild, with a stronger, more knowledgable foundation. 

I would like to thank my support group, mostly my mother and EMily. Thanks for the help so far. I couldnt have made it through all of this without you.

Ill leave you with a Louis Vuitton add "Some Journeys Cant Be Put Into Words"

Also, Hoodie Allen "Words of Wisdom" A personal new favorite.

Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A12wnVXtdhg

Fighting the Fight

UFC 117 played this past saturday. Being a huge follower of the mma sport, I tuned in, as usual. The card was amazing. Each and every fight was an all out war between two grown men refusing to lose. Men getting pounded on round after round only to persevere and become victorious. "Death bf Defeat" says the Head Rush t-shirt. Sporting a skull with some sort of viking helmet on. Oh and not to mention the chains coming out of this badass skulls face. Looking through the crowed in between fights this is all you will see.

Tanned big boobed "women" wearing next to nothing are a dime a dozen at these events. I believe they stand, looking into their closets, asking themselves what can make them look the sleeziest. Huge heels, shirts transformed to dresses, and lets not forget your gaudy, over the top, costume jewelry. This is what makes the essential UFC going female. Hoping they will find someone to pay for their evening.

Gelled hair, dark MEK jeans, and a badass Affliction shirt. This gives off the vibe that you are not to be fucked with. You are a man, and you obviously know how to fight. Because you were affliction... right? Tanned up douchebags going broke for the night to impress the piece of trash, Oops, I meant lady, sitting beside him.

Having participated in the sport of MMA and knowing a few UFC fighters personally, this stereotypical attire gives them a bad rep in my eyes. FireFighters that have children, Purdue Graduates, High School wrestling coaches. These everyday people are being represented by demonic creatures ripping through their clothes, skulls and skeletons, chains and tribals, blended all together to make you look like a badass. Yeah... right. I guess I am wondering why 95% of fight wear makes me look atheist. Fighting is what we have done since the begining of time, to show ownership and possesion. Why is it just recently labeled with black, dark grey, and silver lining?  Hopefully it is just a phase.

It would be nice to turn on a pay per view, go to a bar, or walk through the mall without seeing some lost soul wearing clothing that "makes him look tough." Someone out there, anyone, please break the mold.

Dont believe me? Google "UFC fan" have fun. Oh, dont forget to make a fist like a boxer in your next picture. 

Get Tanked

I never thought I would blog. Sharing my day to day thoughts with others always seemed odd. Someone reading what I had to say... voluntarily? Hard to believe. I finally opened my eyes and decided to share. So blog I shall.

Tank tops.. They only seem to be popular in southern California, or place where there is a beach within walking distance. I may live in the mid-west, however a lady in LA holds my heart. I started wearing tank tops after seeing guys sport them all over the place on my visits. Walking the streets of indianapolis this past friday night I opted to trade in the polo,  dark jeans, and loafers for a tank top, jean shorts, and flip flops. Minutes after arriving downtown my friend and I walked by a line to enter the bar. What do I hear? "Cute shirt." "Yeah fag, cool shirt." I smile and nod at the four insecure, affliction wearing tool bags that think every girl wants them in the bar.

How to respond? Do you get angry for being called out in-front of 100 people waiting to get into a bar? Perhaps you feel bad for yet another person falling into the stereotype, the fashion norm of whatever region you call home. This is the approach I went with. What happened to being an individual? What happened to individual creativity. At what point in our lives did we pick up a magazine, see an ad and say to ourselves, "I want to be that."? Why aren't we flipping the pages of multiple magazines and making our own ads that we want to be? Why are there fashion dos in California that are fashion donts in Indiana? Whats with the east coast style and the west coast style? Why cant it just be style? Im pursuing the answers to these questions while writing this. I am also trying to make these questions non-existent with my very own clothing line.

This blog will be a reflection of fashion, music, and life in general. I have an opinion and love to use it, even when it isn't loved. Starting my senior year of college I have a lot to think about; I have to finish school on time, make the long distance with my girlfriend work, and start to pursue my real dreams.

Im not scared, and you shouldn't be either